Featured Gym Rant by Swolenonymous

I’d like to preface this article by pointing out that I have nothing against tiny dudes. We all had to start somewhere, and at one point in our lives or another we were just skinny kids trying to put on some muscle too. For those skinny kids who work hard and put in countless hours in the gym, I applaud you. Keep working hard. This article does not apply to you.

However, for the rest of you skinny kids who pack the gym starting 2 months before your respective Spring Breaks to follow Men’s Health’s “6-week guide to ripped Spring Break Abs”,  promptly jump off your near high-rise building. (Swole Science does not take responsibility for those of you that actually do this. No, it will not make your biceps any bigger. It’s just an expression.)

I can’t express to you how tired I am of hearing a 6’0, 135-pound frat star tell me he’s got 8 sets left on the cable flyes. Deadlifts? Squats? Forget about it. A mysterious high school football incident has apparently left 80% of our young adults (over 6’0, under 135 pounds of course) with “back injuries” that prevent them from performing any variation of a compound movement that may in fact help them throw on a few pounds.

We all know that Spring Break is coming up and you won’t be able to take advantage of half-conscious 18 year old girls without your coveted cuts, but please, do yourself a favor and get the out of my way. I have some weights to attend to.

-Swolenonymous

(Guest Contributing Author to SwoleScience.com)

(This is an original post copyright to SwoleScience.com, credited to the aforementioned author. Its reproduction is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved to the original authors of any quoted or embedded material)

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3 Responses

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